Life has stress, and now is a very good example of that truth. Of course there are plenty of wonderful examples of ‘good stress’ in our lives, such as when we challenge ourselves to move past our comfort zones to help bring us closer to achieving our goals. But in our modern world, and especially with all of the challenges we are facing at this time, most of our current stress is not the healthy kind. Personal circumstances, the various crises that are directly affecting us to a greater or lesser degree - all of this stress creeps into our bodies and minds and gets stuck there, and the effects on our health are many.

Our physical health can suffer from increased inflammation, making us more suseptible to many of today’s most common diseases, plus the capacity of all our body systems is diminished, including lowered energy, immunity, cardiovascular capability, sex drive, poorer digestion, and chronic muscle pain.
The mental and emotional health effects of stress include an increased tendency to suffer from anxiety, depression, overwhelm, mood swings, lack of concentration, sleep disorders, poor memory and impaired decision making ability.
Stress also effects us socially. We can feel more isolated, alone, misunderstood, and in general less inspired to connect with our very important social network for support, which creates even more stress.

On this last point, I have been inspired lately to write posts about how to become more ‘internally resourced’ - that is, able to find what we need within ourselves - because we literally are less able to access the external resources that are known to help us reduce our stress levels, such as time with friends & family, travel, community involvement, sports & other group activities, and enjoying cultural events such as live music or theatre. Social connection is a vital pillar for ensuring robust health & well- being, and with that now curtailed, in addition to getting comfortable with having a more virtual social life (ugh!), I also encourage us to develop our internal resources. As is clear from the list above, stress has a huge impact on all aspects of our health, and this is not good. We need to take care of ourselves for ourselves, for the dear ones around us that care about us, and for the greater health and well-being of society. When our own personal stress is not taking over our lives, we can offer more positive energy to those around us, and we can model healthy habits to our community at large.

In this post I share a simple relaxation exercise designed to reduce stress and increase connection to our inner resources of resilience, refuge, and self-compassion. It is called ‘Constructive Rest”.

A common strategy that we may be using to reduce stress right now is to escape into a screen - a phone, a laptop, or a television. While it may feel good to ‘turn of the brain and tune out the world’, when we are watching TV or scrolling on our phones, it has been shown that the mind is actually not relaxing at all. When we think we are tuning out, we are often letting the mind relax into it’s current default mode of ‘mind racing’. I am not saying that this is its natural state, I think it is something that our culture has trained the brain to do - to race constantly from one thought to the other - reviewing the past, planning the future, scanning for trouble, looking for pleasure, and so on. What has been shown to be the most relaxing for the brain, is to focus on 1 thing at a time in the present moment, which is why activities such as knitting, tinkering in the garage, baking, and of course, meditation, have been shown to be so therapeutic.

In this constructive rest exercise, we are going to focus on the body and the breath, in order to consciously, or intentionally, relax our whole being. Often we can accumulate stress in the most bizarre places - in our jaw, or in our tailbone - but we don’t realize it until it has already turned into a full blown migraine or sciatic issue. The attention required to do this exercise actually creates the relaxation, because our scattered mind, instead of racing around in a million different directions, can bring all of its strands together and focus on just 1 simple thing at a time, and this allows not only our minds to relax, but our whole nervous system to calm down, which can lead to improved digestion, sleep, concentration, immunity, and basically assist in countering all of the adverse effects of stress outlined above.

The one disclaimer that I do want to say before we get started, is that for those who have suffered trauma, sometimes consciously relaxing the body can induce more stress. If this is you, I encourage you to gently try this on, with eyes open, and if at any point it causes discomfort, to please discontinue, and to tend to your own self care. Often for those with a history of trauma, only a small dose of this is appropriate at first, and over time you can increase the amount of constructive rest you give yourself. You are the best judge of this.

With that said, let’s get to some relaxing!.

The Practice

(Please note that the seated practice is outlined further below).
The traditional position is lying down. All of the above pictures give an example of how you can lie down:

with the legs bent and the feet on the floor
with the knees propped together and the feet wider apart, allowing the legs to not have to support themselves
with the legs bent at 90 degrees at the knees, and the calves resting on a couch or a chair. The legs can flop open naturally, totally relaxed, but it can also help the hips to relax even more if there is a belt around the knees, so the legs do not need to support themselves at all.
You can also place a few pillows under the knees as you lie down.
All of these positions have the knees bent, which takes strain off of the lower back. In all of the above pictures, I am on the bare floor, which I am very used to, but I do recommend lying down either on top of a blanket or mat, possibly with a pillow under the head if that feels more comfortable, AND you can also do this lying in bed.

The most important instruction is to feel the weight of the body, and to let the body sink deeper into the earth. The second most important instruction is to feel that sense of weight on the INHALE as well as the exhale, while you breathe. Often, when breathing IN, there is an upward energy, as though lifting up away from the floor, and when breathing OUT there is a downward energy, as though relaxing into the floor. In this exercise, I ask you to subtly tune into the feeling of the breath, and as you inhale, have the subtle intention to fill the body with the breath, and to expand the inhale downward (towards the ground), and also on the exhale to relax downward (towards the ground), to encourage feeling the weight of the body, and for a more internal sensory experience.

For example, bring your attention to the feet, in whatever position you are in, and as you inhale, ‘intend’ - that is, have the intention - that the inhale fills the feet, and that the feet get heavier, and on the exhale, that they also relax heavy. You might imagine that the feet are literally sinking deeper into the floor on the inhale, AND on the exhale. There is no need to push the feet down, it is much more subtle than that. It is an intention. There is no physical effort, but as you focus your mind on this intention, notice if you can feel a physical effect in the body, however subtle.

Lying Down Practice

(Just a reminder again, that if you want to practice this while sitting up and reading this post, you can. The seated version is described below)
We are going to do this with the whole body.

So, once you are lying down, first, feel the weight of the body, and let it sink and spread into the floor, the mat, or the bed. Feel the points of contact that the body is making with the ground: the back of the head, the back of the shoulders, the arms & hands, the back of the pelvis, and possibly the legs or feet.

First, feel the weight of the head, letting the eyes sink into their sockets, letting the jaw relax, and relaxing the tongue and the throat. Let go of all expression in the face.

Then, feel the breath, in and out. While I encourage you to not inhibit any motion of the chest with the breath (that is to say, please breathe very freely), instead of automatically letting the chest rise up quickly on the inhale (away from the ground), intend that the expansion of the breath fills the ribcage, especially at the back, as though the back is sinking into the floor on the inhale, and on the exhale the back relaxes deeper into the floor. Feel the breath into the sides of the ribs. Allow the chest to relax and spread out, and respond naturally to the breath.

You can imagine that there is a heavy blanket on the body (or you can actually put one on you), so instead of the inhale taking you away from the floor, you actually sink more into the floor on the inhale, and also on the exhale.

Feel the weight of the collarbones resting on the chest, as well as the weight of the arms, and the hands. Feel the muscles of the shoulders, arms, wrists and hands relax, as though creating space between the muscles and the bones.

In the chest, let the heart rest on the lungs, and let the lungs rest on the back of the ribcage.

Allow the stomach to move naturally with the breath, but also intend that the expansion of the inhale goes more towards the lower back, and on the exhale the abdominal contents sink down towards the lower back. Feel the breath into the sides of the waist.

Let the thigh bones sink deep into the hips sockets, relax all the muscles around the hips - so there is a deep crease in the hip sockets, as though you are a marionette.

Relax the pelvic floor, which are the muscles right at the base of the pelvis in between the pubic bone and the tailbone - let the breath circulate through the muscles here.

Relax the glutes, and all the muscles around the tailbone. Feel the weight of the pelvis, the legs, and the feet - on the inhale they are heavy, and on the exhale they let go of all effort and are even heavier. Let the breath travel in the space between the muscles and the bones.

Relax the thinking mind, and rest in the body. Scan the body for any place that feels like it is resisting the floor.

Inhale heaviness, and exhale heaviness.

Bring the atention to the heart, and notice how the heart can be relaxed, but also awake. Bring the attention to the abdomen, noticing how it can be relazed, but also full of life energy. Bring the attention to the mind. Notice how it can be relaxed but present.

Take a few deep breaths into the body, and slowly roll onto your side. Stay here a moment, and then using your hands, gently bring yourself up to sitting. Take some time in stillness before moving to the next part of your day, or if you are going to sleep - enjoy!

Seated Practice

If you are sitting up, we will do basically the same thing.

As you are reading this, can you allow your eyes to soften, and relax the jaw and the tongue, and all the muscles of the face, as though letting go of all expression.

Let the throat relax, which may actually cause you to do a swallowing action.

Fill the muscles of the neck and shoulders with the breath on the inhale, and on the exhale, feel the weight of the shoulders, the shoulder blades going down the back, and the weight of the arms, the elbows, wrists and hands. Let the breath travel into the spaces between the muscles and the bones. Relax the arms from the inside out.

Instead of unconsciously breathing shallowly into the top of the chest, intend that the breath goes to the bottom of the lungs 3 dimensionally, and as you exhale let the heart and lungs relax into gravity.

As you inhale, allow the abdomen to expand 3 dimensionally - front, sides and back, and as you exhale, let the abdominal contents relax into the pelvic bowl. Feel the breath in the lower back, the waist, and the belly.

Fill the pelvic bowl with the breath as you inhale, and as you exhale, imagine that it is sinking down deeper into your chair. Let all the organs of the lower abdomen and pelvic bowl soften.

Let the thigh bones relax in the hip sockets, and relax the muscles of the pelvic floor - right at the bottom of the pelvis, in between the pubic bone and the tailbone, and let the muscles here soften with the inhale and the exhale.

Soften the the bones that you are sitting on, and relax all the muscles around the tailbone.

As you inhale, feel the thighs sink deeper down into the chair, and as you exhale, relax them even more.

Breathe into the space between the muscles and the bones. Feel the thighs, knees, calves ankles and feet from the inside out, and relax. As you inhale, let the feet sink deeper into the earth, and as you exhale let go of all effort.

Sense the body as it is now.
Inhaling, it is heavy and filling with the breath, exhaling, it is releasing the breath and is relaxed.
Soften, or close the eyes for a moment, relax the jaw, relax everything, and just feel the body being breathed.
Let the ground, or the chair, totally support you.
Bring the atention to the heart, and notice how the heart can be relaxed, but also awake.
Bring the attention to the abdomen, noticing how it can be relazed, but also full of life energy.
Bring the attention to the mind, noticing how it can be relaxed but present.

Come out of this slowly. Notice how the body feels physically, and notice your mental and emotional state. This practice can relax and reset many of the body’s systems, as I outlined earlier, and so can be very rejuvenating. Although doing this just before bed sets me up for a better sleep, I also often practice this upon waking, because I often wake up with some unconscious tension. My mind is often already racing, and I do not want to take that into the rest of my day, so I take a moment to consciously relax and set my bodymind up for a better day, where there is at least less stress being generated from the inside! I also often do this as a substitute or as a precursor for an afternoon power nap. An afternoon break like this can totally realign the rest of my day and evening, cleaning the slate, as it were, and so I find it to be worth its weight in gold.

I encourage you to practice this any time you need to rest or discharge some stress, and to notice the effects on the body, mind and heart. We may be holding a lot of tension unconsciously, and this exercise allows some of that to release. You may notice that you are more emotional after doing this exercise, because you are allowing emotions that may have been bottled up for some time, to now move through the body. Take care of yourself in this regard, with lots of self-compassion and space for these emotions to move through you. Drinking lots of water helps all of this energy pass through us more easily, as does eating healthy food, getting good rest, and connecting with nature.

I have many other blog posts focused on self care and building resilience, as I think this is always important - but especially now - as well as healthy recipes to keep our body fed with good energy. Here are just a few:

Profound Self-Care
Meeting Challenging Times & Emotions with Mindfulness
Harvest Recipes
Upper Body Opening: an easy and powerful way to feel better

Wishing you well. Take good care.